'Sup, Brah?? (***Turkey-Sex-Awesome***)

As of a few hours ago, our EC townhouse is officially a "Bros-Only Suite."

It's just me, Nate, and MS. All the girls went home for fall break because women are less emotionally and mentally stable than men (pshhh, it's not sexist, it's a fact--look it up, cunts), and they need their mommies. Which is fine. Bros weekend!!

Let the human-dishwasherless experiment begin.

Things are progressing normally so far. I bought wine (yellow tail = Australian = a spoon = not a knife), and Nate is making us a very manly dish for dinner that was originally called "a Turkey-Food-Loaf," until Nate and I gradually decided to rename it "a Turkey-Sex-Awesome."

Last time we had an all-male suite was in August when I moved in two weeks before everyone else and the suite was filled with lots of single servings of Mexican food and youtubing of karaoke showtune tracks and lonely crying of oneself to sleep at night and nightmares about killers creeping about downstairs... let's see how much of that repeats this time around.

-R.S.

A Party That Wasn't Fake

We're all so balls-down happy that you came to our Halloween party, especially after the shameful, misspelled, forcible, last-minute cancellation of the last party. hopefully we can all put that unpleasantness behind us. Whether you got here in time for the cookies and brownies and the most vodka-heavy Jello shots of all time and thematic gin mix, or late enough to scrounge around for clear rum and cups of tap water and spit for chaser and candy corn that kinda melted together in the candy dish, it was our best yet. Every surface in the suite is still damp and sticky... it's like wading around in a giant expelled placenta, but we don't mind because it just means we brought much joy into the world.

I'm a lil disappointed that we forgot about Grace's idea to live-blog the entire party until it was too late to start. that would have been a delightful thing to have the morning after... maybe we'll make it happen for our xmas party, or Evie's birthday party, or my coming out party, or whatever's next. (Note: actually, "whatever's next" = a huge-ass wine-filled Greek sex orgy-type party that Nate is throwing for everyone on fri/13 for some weird greek festival holiday thing that only Classics majors know about... be there.)

Happy Halloween! And be safe out there, kids... don't eat any candy or fuck anything unless it's wrapped!!

-R.S.

Tonight.

A concerned reader pointed out to me that we have not posted in two days. We have been remiss. I personally have been far less remiss than two members of the gang who have yet to post at all (I'm looking right at you Commissioner Gordon and Nate!) but we are all responsible. To make it up to you, we are hosting a Halloween Gala for real, no late night cancellations, no cold feet. There will be jello shots, gin buckets, boxed wine, candy, and those Pillsbury sugar cookies with a pumpkin inside the roll so when you slice it your cookies have pumpkins on them. Yum. There will be costumes and dancing and prizes. Updates to follow with possible live blogging during the night.
-Grace

Campus Poop Bandit: Walking Among Us?

So everyone's probably heard that someone pooped on Alma Mater Saturday night.

*In case you're out of the loop, know it wasn't on the actual person part of the statue, apparently... (I know, right?? that's what I thought at first too!) ...on the square base part of the statue... slightly less blasphemous.

We're like 92% sure we know which two people are responsible (not us... NOT. any. of us).

What should we do...
a. turn them in?
b. wait to see if/where/when they poop again?
c. poop outside their suite door?
d. ????????

-R.S.

Saturday Night, Paula Deen Style

M.S. and I made this for family dinner on Saturday night. The green beans counteract the huge mac and cheese and the pie.

One Day's Silence

We did not post yesterday at all. I wish I could say it was because the Lord's day is a day of rest, but in truth, it was because we were doing all of the work we should have been doing Thursday through Saturday. We'll try not to leave you hanging like that again, adoring public. Commissioner Gordon and N.N. have yet to post anything although they have been present at the time of communal posts. A general outcry from our vast readership might compel them to put their thoughts into words and their words on this blog.
-Grace

Ugh, Rain

M.S. and I are going to be making a comforting family dinner of mac and cheese, green beans, and apple pie to counteract the shitacular weather. Updates and photos to follow.
-Grace

Has Our Suite Lost All Party Cred?

Yes.

We were supposed to have a party with shots of liquor, shots of juice, and aluminum cans of wine. We were forced by a bitter gypsy woman (at left) to cancel. such is life. But facebook sucks big floppy donkey dick, so even though we canceled the party yesterday afternoon, no one got the email about the cancellation until after 9pm. and the poorly spelled, playfully ironic message explaining the cancellation didn't show up in my inbox until 4:47 am... 7 hours after the party was supposed to start.

We look lame. Even though we want to have a real party next weekend, I'm sure no one will believe us and no one will come. We'll probably all die alone too.

maybe we deserve it?

-R.S.

p.s. I have my own shampoo. I keep all my shampoo and conditioner and body wash and stuff in my room because I think it's gross to leave my personal hygiene products on the floor of the shower while the run-off from six filthy bodies rains down upon them every day.

p.p.s. Let's have wine for dinner.

"Not I", said the Little Red Hen

Hi McKenneth! I have not been stealing your shampoo because I only like to use shampoos that smell very strongly of fruit. Example: all three empty fructis garnier shampoo thingamabobbers are mine. Due to budget cuts, the raspberry and grapeseed extract V05 have replaced them. I have never run out of shampoo but I have once run out of conditioner and then I used some of Christina's because I wanted to know what would happen if a white person used a conditioner that specifically said it was for black people's hair (nothing happened except that I smelled like Christina for a day, yum.)

In related news, what should we make for dinner tonight? The only suggestion thus far on the table is brisket.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brisket

Shampoo and Mimosas

So GD, CG and I just got back from a nice little breakfast brunch complete with mimosas and bloody mary's and delicious foodstuffs. I have a slight buzz working which seems to be a trend for posting on this blog. So that covers the mimosa portion of this post title. Now onto more pressing matters. The Shampoo Bandit! I as you know am a skinny black hipster dude, short hair, 100% sexy. I dont use a lot of shampoo. But it seems as if someone has been using my shampoo and it is almost finished. Now usually I buy 1 bottle of shampoo and it lasts for a solid 4-5 months. This bottle is almost empty after 2 months...coincidence? I think not. It may be that gypsy woman that I double crossed last night. This is very stressful for me since I really like to wash my head and I am anxious about the moment when I step into the shower one day to wash and there is no shampoo to do the washing. I'll have to use body wash or *gasp* steal someone else's shampoo. Not a situation I want to find myself in. So hopefully the person/demonic spirit who is haunting/stealing (from) me will cease their activity and I can calm myself and rest assured that I will be able to continue washing my hair as per usual. That's it for now...gonna go do a little work.


Au Revoir!

M.S.

Quote of the Day

"I looked at my puke this morning, and I was like, 'I should chew more.'"

-the Irish Drunk



--R.S.

"i got cousins, country cousins".. in FLORIDA.. spring break, anyone??

soooo.. in the midst of some intense procrastinating, i opted to shoot the shit with my suitemates. what was the topic of conversation? SPRING FUCKING BREAK.. so, what are a bunch of budget conscious college seniors to do? ARGUE.. destination: florida or maine.. transportation choice: plane or car.. none of this really matters. you might ask yourself, "what really matters." well i'll fucking tell you.. WHAT IS CHEAPER?!?! in other news, mckenneth and i might be related.. seriously. a good amount of our white/cherokee family members are from columbia, south carolina. we're probably second cousins twice removed.. gross.

-evie

p.s. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5VGabbDceY