'Sup, Brah?? (***Turkey-Sex-Awesome***)

As of a few hours ago, our EC townhouse is officially a "Bros-Only Suite."

It's just me, Nate, and MS. All the girls went home for fall break because women are less emotionally and mentally stable than men (pshhh, it's not sexist, it's a fact--look it up, cunts), and they need their mommies. Which is fine. Bros weekend!!

Let the human-dishwasherless experiment begin.

Things are progressing normally so far. I bought wine (yellow tail = Australian = a spoon = not a knife), and Nate is making us a very manly dish for dinner that was originally called "a Turkey-Food-Loaf," until Nate and I gradually decided to rename it "a Turkey-Sex-Awesome."

Last time we had an all-male suite was in August when I moved in two weeks before everyone else and the suite was filled with lots of single servings of Mexican food and youtubing of karaoke showtune tracks and lonely crying of oneself to sleep at night and nightmares about killers creeping about downstairs... let's see how much of that repeats this time around.

-R.S.

A Party That Wasn't Fake

We're all so balls-down happy that you came to our Halloween party, especially after the shameful, misspelled, forcible, last-minute cancellation of the last party. hopefully we can all put that unpleasantness behind us. Whether you got here in time for the cookies and brownies and the most vodka-heavy Jello shots of all time and thematic gin mix, or late enough to scrounge around for clear rum and cups of tap water and spit for chaser and candy corn that kinda melted together in the candy dish, it was our best yet. Every surface in the suite is still damp and sticky... it's like wading around in a giant expelled placenta, but we don't mind because it just means we brought much joy into the world.

I'm a lil disappointed that we forgot about Grace's idea to live-blog the entire party until it was too late to start. that would have been a delightful thing to have the morning after... maybe we'll make it happen for our xmas party, or Evie's birthday party, or my coming out party, or whatever's next. (Note: actually, "whatever's next" = a huge-ass wine-filled Greek sex orgy-type party that Nate is throwing for everyone on fri/13 for some weird greek festival holiday thing that only Classics majors know about... be there.)

Happy Halloween! And be safe out there, kids... don't eat any candy or fuck anything unless it's wrapped!!

-R.S.

Tonight.

A concerned reader pointed out to me that we have not posted in two days. We have been remiss. I personally have been far less remiss than two members of the gang who have yet to post at all (I'm looking right at you Commissioner Gordon and Nate!) but we are all responsible. To make it up to you, we are hosting a Halloween Gala for real, no late night cancellations, no cold feet. There will be jello shots, gin buckets, boxed wine, candy, and those Pillsbury sugar cookies with a pumpkin inside the roll so when you slice it your cookies have pumpkins on them. Yum. There will be costumes and dancing and prizes. Updates to follow with possible live blogging during the night.
-Grace

Campus Poop Bandit: Walking Among Us?

So everyone's probably heard that someone pooped on Alma Mater Saturday night.

*In case you're out of the loop, know it wasn't on the actual person part of the statue, apparently... (I know, right?? that's what I thought at first too!) ...on the square base part of the statue... slightly less blasphemous.

We're like 92% sure we know which two people are responsible (not us... NOT. any. of us).

What should we do...
a. turn them in?
b. wait to see if/where/when they poop again?
c. poop outside their suite door?
d. ????????

-R.S.

Saturday Night, Paula Deen Style

M.S. and I made this for family dinner on Saturday night. The green beans counteract the huge mac and cheese and the pie.

One Day's Silence

We did not post yesterday at all. I wish I could say it was because the Lord's day is a day of rest, but in truth, it was because we were doing all of the work we should have been doing Thursday through Saturday. We'll try not to leave you hanging like that again, adoring public. Commissioner Gordon and N.N. have yet to post anything although they have been present at the time of communal posts. A general outcry from our vast readership might compel them to put their thoughts into words and their words on this blog.
-Grace

Ugh, Rain

M.S. and I are going to be making a comforting family dinner of mac and cheese, green beans, and apple pie to counteract the shitacular weather. Updates and photos to follow.
-Grace

Has Our Suite Lost All Party Cred?

Yes.

We were supposed to have a party with shots of liquor, shots of juice, and aluminum cans of wine. We were forced by a bitter gypsy woman (at left) to cancel. such is life. But facebook sucks big floppy donkey dick, so even though we canceled the party yesterday afternoon, no one got the email about the cancellation until after 9pm. and the poorly spelled, playfully ironic message explaining the cancellation didn't show up in my inbox until 4:47 am... 7 hours after the party was supposed to start.

We look lame. Even though we want to have a real party next weekend, I'm sure no one will believe us and no one will come. We'll probably all die alone too.

maybe we deserve it?

-R.S.

p.s. I have my own shampoo. I keep all my shampoo and conditioner and body wash and stuff in my room because I think it's gross to leave my personal hygiene products on the floor of the shower while the run-off from six filthy bodies rains down upon them every day.

p.p.s. Let's have wine for dinner.

"Not I", said the Little Red Hen

Hi McKenneth! I have not been stealing your shampoo because I only like to use shampoos that smell very strongly of fruit. Example: all three empty fructis garnier shampoo thingamabobbers are mine. Due to budget cuts, the raspberry and grapeseed extract V05 have replaced them. I have never run out of shampoo but I have once run out of conditioner and then I used some of Christina's because I wanted to know what would happen if a white person used a conditioner that specifically said it was for black people's hair (nothing happened except that I smelled like Christina for a day, yum.)

In related news, what should we make for dinner tonight? The only suggestion thus far on the table is brisket.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brisket

Shampoo and Mimosas

So GD, CG and I just got back from a nice little breakfast brunch complete with mimosas and bloody mary's and delicious foodstuffs. I have a slight buzz working which seems to be a trend for posting on this blog. So that covers the mimosa portion of this post title. Now onto more pressing matters. The Shampoo Bandit! I as you know am a skinny black hipster dude, short hair, 100% sexy. I dont use a lot of shampoo. But it seems as if someone has been using my shampoo and it is almost finished. Now usually I buy 1 bottle of shampoo and it lasts for a solid 4-5 months. This bottle is almost empty after 2 months...coincidence? I think not. It may be that gypsy woman that I double crossed last night. This is very stressful for me since I really like to wash my head and I am anxious about the moment when I step into the shower one day to wash and there is no shampoo to do the washing. I'll have to use body wash or *gasp* steal someone else's shampoo. Not a situation I want to find myself in. So hopefully the person/demonic spirit who is haunting/stealing (from) me will cease their activity and I can calm myself and rest assured that I will be able to continue washing my hair as per usual. That's it for now...gonna go do a little work.


Au Revoir!

M.S.

Quote of the Day

"I looked at my puke this morning, and I was like, 'I should chew more.'"

-the Irish Drunk



--R.S.

"i got cousins, country cousins".. in FLORIDA.. spring break, anyone??

soooo.. in the midst of some intense procrastinating, i opted to shoot the shit with my suitemates. what was the topic of conversation? SPRING FUCKING BREAK.. so, what are a bunch of budget conscious college seniors to do? ARGUE.. destination: florida or maine.. transportation choice: plane or car.. none of this really matters. you might ask yourself, "what really matters." well i'll fucking tell you.. WHAT IS CHEAPER?!?! in other news, mckenneth and i might be related.. seriously. a good amount of our white/cherokee family members are from columbia, south carolina. we're probably second cousins twice removed.. gross.

-evie

p.s. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5VGabbDceY

The Morning After

I am very hungry. Extreme utter morning after drunk escapades supermunchies. I need food in my body. I am getting a headache and my tummy is growling. If anyone can hear me...send food and water. Please. Or I could stop being lazy and walk downstairs and make myself some breakfast. Also, we need to get cable because I hate having to clean up my room the morning after. There is also a very strange smell emanating from the side of my bed. I do not know what it is, nor do I want to know. I just want it to cease.

kthxbai,

M.S.

p.s.
SEND FOOD!

House of Ungodly Horrors

Sweet fuck, there is nothing creepier or sadder than watching each person in the golden gang (me included) stumble out of their rooms to the bathroom or the kitchen or the vending machines in the a.m.


Warning to all: never be awake in this suite during the hours of 8:30 am to...???? It's too much to handle. srsly. We are not golden. Not until 1 or 2 in the p.m.

-R.S.

When we left the lingerie party...

Evie fails at studying...in related news, Kenny says Beyonce is the new Socrates. Yeah...i was prettyy drunk...like blackout...i yelled at a few people, asked some people who live in furnald to walk me back to EC...interesting night. ended with me falling down the stairs of my suite onto the floor begging for someone to take care of me...but not give me water because i know that trick!!!!!

I said please dont slow me down if im going toooo fast!!!!!

- Reptilia, The Strokes

p.s.
This is a guest post from the original kenneth rivera. word. well we are in teh suites and we're all like what that's crazy and grace isn't able to sleep where black woman in the morning and mckenneth is sleeping in front of old people. Mckenneth didnt pay attention to the distance while a guy answered the question. database for employees using the select function got pwned for sleeping. a goof archive of posts are for the welcoming committee of friendship. mushinrooms are trippy balls crazy. nuts.





......the nightman cometh

So... Two Nights Ago, This Happened:

(he's eating an apple.)

That's all.

xx

-R.S.

Update: STRANGER DANGER!

Ok so we were in our suite and the fire alarm went off. Doing nothing but sitting around drinking whiskey sours. And...BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH! crazy. so we were outside for like 30 mins and we came back. Then! just wait....SWEET CAROLINE...BUM BUM BUMMMMMM. and life is good.

MS and PR

DRUNKKKKKKKK

salt n pepas here!!!!

we started drinking whiskey sours at 4 pm. we drank a liter of whiskey sours and now we're getting more! yeahhhhhhh boiiiiiiii flavor flav!!!!!!!!!! we will update soooon

Cable?

As a sort of a disclaimer, I think I'm the person in this suite who reads the most blogs (AKA the loneliest) so I was feeling a lot of pressure to live up to these other sites and be incredibly funny or hip or artistic or charming or have a really cool layout. Then I realized these were unrealistic expectations so I think I'm just going to go the Ramsey route and keep it topical. I have also have been suffering conflicting feelings about the ladybugs (they're so cute until they bust out those wings, then they make me think of locusts) but since that topics been pretty well fleshed out already, I guess I will have to explore other suite issues.

Even though we all clearly have too much time on our hands, we have thus far been unable to get our shit together enough to get cable. We have a TV...well, Commisioner Gordon does and she's a generous soul. We have a big common lounge type situation with some marginally comfortable couches and chairs and a T.V. table which could be used for snacks, drinks, or feet resting although preferably not at the same time. We also have the finances, maybe not individually but collectively, to pay 30 dollars a month. Lastly, we have computers and internet which we could easily use to sign up for cable from the University provider. So why don't we have cable yet?


Because we are lazy. I don't want to point fingers I'll stick with the suite member I know best: me. I am so lazy that I let my laundry sit in the washing machine for eight hours yesterday because I lacked the motivational drive to go downstairs and put it in the dryer, thus necessitating that I wash all my clothes a second time because they had been sitting in cold water for wight hours breeding moldy smells. They are currently in the washer again but the chances of me going down to switch them are slim. I am also so lazy that I do not use the beautiful plates we bought at Target because that would make an extra dish to wash. I just eat out whatever pot I cooked in. I was too lazy this morning to wake up before ten. It's almost two and I'm still not dressed yet (waiting on that laundry!!) And it occurs to me now, that all this time I'm spending posting could have easily been used to order cable. Or you know, do homework or apply for jobs.

I'm not sure what to do about this flaw now that I've identified it because it's fairly well ingrained into my approach to life. Also, it's being reinforced by this yoga class from hell that I'm taking with E.L. where the instructor continually tells us to free our mind from stress and distraction. This is the only part of the class I'm doing well in, my ability to maintain physical yoga poses is debatable.

Anyhoo, between homework, laundry, ladybugs, and cable, I have a lot on my plate today so I'm going to end here and have some tea or wine or something. Further updates on the cable situation to follow.

-Grace

Lady Bug Infestation

Our suite--and the rest of the building, apparently-- is under siege by lady bugs(!!). They started appearing a week ago, and until today I thought they were only coming to me room, attracted by the two eight-inch-tall plants from Kmart that sit on my window sill. Naive? Perhaps.

But just now I saw that Bwog commenter WTF reported yesterday a "ladybug infestation in the east-facing rooms of EC. close your windows, people!!"

Suitemates, now is the time for decisions. Do we welcome lady bugs into our suite (and our blog?) as friends? Or do we take the anonymous commenter's advice and treat their arrival as hostile?

Thus far, I'm happy to report that they've been nothing but gracious and respectful. At first I thought the Bwog commenter was being unnecessarily rash and disturbingly distrusting of those different than him/herself. And yet, however politically incorrect this may be, I think it's at least worth raising the question: Do the lady bugs pose a threat?

Like the baby appropriately pictured below, it's easy to focus on their immediate innocence and beauty, forgetting that we have no way of knowing how long their cordial behavior will last. Will Lady-Bug-Baby stay that cute forever, or will he grow up to become a child molester who rapes other costumed babies? The only way to know for certain is to wait, and by then it will be too late to save them.



-R.S.

WELCOME FRIENDS

This website is how we plan to become famous before we graduate in May 2010.

P.S. We're having a party on Friday at 10 (come at 11).